Liz Goes Online

Against my better judgement, I decided to give online dating another shot.  I tried this a little over a year ago, and it did not turn out well for me.  I went on to meet women, and ended up chatting with this super cute, blonde doctor.  She was a little older than me and was super artsy.  I was SO into her.  She was sexy, smart, and creative. Swoon.

I thought that the feelings were mutual, and so I slept with her after only a few dates.  After that, I ended up going home for a month over winter vacation and we didn’t keep in touch.  Not really sure what happened, but whatever.  I chalked it up to her being too busy saving lives.

So, this was my only experience with online dating— until now!

This time, I decided to go on to meet men.  This experience has been way different.  Men are way creepier.

Here are some highlights from my 1 week online—-

liz2

.... this was the FIRST MESSAGE THIS GUY SENT ME. CREEP.

…. this was the FIRST MESSAGE THIS GUY SENT ME. CREEP.

No, thanks.

No, thanks.  

(Also worth mentioning that on his profile, under the “what I’m doing with my life section” this guy wrote “recovering heroin and painkiller addict”)

And my personal favorite—–

....???

???

Ok, so maybe this will end up being another failure.  I’ve been chatting with two cute guys that seem normal– let’s see how long this lasts!

Liz

 

 

Aftermath Part II

So after all of the snooping/texting/large eggplant emoji drama, things went back to normal with Robert(1) and I.  Except for the fact that he became really jealous (big surprise).  He was super needy and was accusing me of things for no reason – other than the fact that his trust in me was nonexistent.  This is normally the kind of behavior I would not put up with, but I was still feeling EXTREMELY guilty from the whole ordeal.  

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Robert(1) and I were fighting and he was getting emotional, asking me to be his girlfriend.  On the third time this happened in 2 weeks, I agreed.  It didn’t feel real to me, as I knew I was doing it just to make him happy.  I only told one of my friends about it.

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maybe it won’t have to deal with reality if I don’t tell anyone!

10 days later, we broke up.  Turns out, it doesn’t work when you agree to be in a relationship out of guilt.  The real question is——- why did I let him influence me into doing something I had no desire to do?  This is extremely out of character for me and makes me angry at myself.  

Here’s the lesson kids: Listen to your gut.

The Aftermath

Hi everyone,

Last time I posted, I told you all that Robert(1) read my text messages without me knowing. I had also started dating another guy behind his back & was pretty confused about what I wanted.

When Robert(1) told me that he read my texts, I was in shock.  My mind was spinning and I was desperately trying to remember what I had said in my texts.  Not surprisingly, I severely underestimated what he read.

I admitted to going on a date with another guy, saying that I had been friends with him for a while and we just went out to dinner. I stressed that it wasn’t a big deal, and we had only kissed. He asked me some more questions about Robert(2), and I answered honestly.

To my surprise, Robert(1) wasn’t satisfied with this information.  He then something else that shocked me-

“What about your texts to Maverick?”

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??!!??!!??!!

(Read about my relationship with my ex, Maverick, here and here).

I couldn’t believe that he was actually talking about my texts to Maverick! I instantly remembered that I had texted him saying that I missed him, as well as saying how cute he looked in a snapchat that he sent me. I. Was. Mortified.

But my nightmare didn’t stop there!! Robert(1) informed me that he saw a graphic text that I sent my best friend, Chrysanthemum.  While Robert(2) and I were making out one night, I had done some over the clothes exploring with my hands.  Three words: It Was Huge. Naturally, I texted Chrysanthemum telling her about this and used emojis in a very tasteful way—

eggplant

 

Our conversation was horribly awkward and I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.  The most shocking thing that was said was by Robert.  He told me that he was going to get over what happened and hoped that we could move on from this.  I think that most guys would be totally done with a girl that pulled shit like this & I couldn’t believe how well Rob handled it all.  Why is he still into me? If the situation was reversed, I wouldn’t have admitted to snooping would have dumped him in a heartbeat.

One issue with this situation is the fact that Robert was snooping.  First of all, Rob is NOT by boyfriend and we never decided to not see other people.  Is he entitled to be this pissed off about what I was doing with Robert(2)?  I am conflicted and would love to hear opinions from others!

snooping

Until next time,
Liz

Liz Gets Caught

Hi everyone! Sorry I haven’t posted in a while, I’ve been trying to figure my shit out super busy! Last time I wrote, I was hanging out with Robert(2) while Robert(1) was home on vacation.  I was learning towards liking Robert(2) more but was still pretty confused about what to do about the situation.  This love triangle was a little too much – even for me!

After I wrote my last post, I had decided to break things off with Robert(1) during the drive home after I picked him up from the airport. During the week where he was away, I was super distant and short with him.  I was spending a lot of time with Robert(2) and was really into him. He knew something was up, but he didn’t know what.  Needless to say, the drive home was super awkward and silent.

When we got home, he asked me if I wanted to come in and talk.  I agreed and we finally got down to the issues.  I told him I felt like we had fallen into a rut and we shouldn’t continue things after I move to the new city. He understood where I was coming from, but told me that he was willing to try the distance (yikes). I cried, he got upset, and things were generally shitty. 

About an hour after I left, he texted me saying “come over and lay down with me one more time.” My heart felt heavy and I agreed.  This turned into drinking – a lot. 

Needless to say, I spent the night at his place and we hooked up. I left in the morning and he ended up coming over later that day.  He was acting SUPER weird but wouldn’t tell me why. Then he texted me “We really need to talk about something next time we hang out.” That night I had plans to hang out with Robert(2), but I told him I was going over my friend Lauren’s house. I had about an hour before I was supposed to go over Lauren’s Robert(2)’s house, so I told him to come over now.

When he came over, he was visibly upset. I asked him what was wrong and he said – “Is there anything you need to tell me?”  I had no idea where this was going, and said no. He then said, “Have you always been honest with me?” I told him to cut the shit and tell me what he was getting at.  He then said something that I was not expecting at all—–

“I read your texts this morning.”

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to be continued!

 

 

My date with Robert(2)

As I mentioned in my previous post, I kissed a guy I’ve had a crush on all year last weekend.  His name is also Robert, and we went out on a date last night.

I was so excited to go out on a date with Robert(2).  Being the super cool lady that I am, I watched make up tutorials on youtube all afternoon and got myself to look pretty good, if I do say so myself.

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outfit choice!

I have been on my fair share of dates, and I think I can officially say that this was the best one ever.  He showed up at my house with a single long stemmed yellow and red rose.  Swoon.  He also opened the car door for me throughout the night – kind of unnecessary, but I found it to be sweet.  The opening of the car doors and bringing me a flower on the first date were both firsts for me.

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isn’t it pretty? talk about brownie points

We drove about 45 minutes into the city and got sushi (my favorite).  Conversation flowed and I was having a great time.  We talked about everything: our childhoods, dreams for the future, favorite things, etc.

The night ended by going to an artsy bar where a jazz band was playing.  This was amazing.  I was digging the vibe and the fact that we were doing something new and different.  Robert(2) has a wonderful, outgoing personality and people gravitate towards him.   We chatted with the owners of the club, who instantly took a liking to him.

The night ended by taking a walk down to the lake by my house.  We looked at the stars and kissed.  It was truly amazing.  I AM STILL SMILING.

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This leads me to my dilemma: what about Robert(1)?  Honestly, since he’s been home for the past 4 days, I’ve been realizing all the things that I don’t like about him.  Robert(2) has a lot of qualities that I like in a person, which I realized Robert(1) doesn’t have.  These include: an interest and appreciation for the arts, being outgoing, & going out and doing things. For example, we live about 45 minutes from a small city. Robert(1) has NEVER EVEN BEEN THERE. This is unbelievable considering there isn’t anything remotely fun to do in the town we live in.

Being away from him has made me realize all the qualities that I don’t like in him. I’m going to see him in 3 days, so I guess I’ll need to make up my mind soon.  I can’t exactly have Robert(2) pick me up for a date when Robert(1) is living across the street….!

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…. or can I?

Oh, how things can change in a week….

The last time I posted was one week ago.  Things were going great in the Robert department and there were no other prospects in my dating life.

All that has changed!

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this week makes my head hurt.

Last Saturday night, my roommates and I threw a party at my house.  Robert was unable to attend, as he flew home for a week to be with his family.  I got prettyyyy tipsy from the margaritas I was drinking and was having a blast.

Side (but relevant note): Two weeks ago, my roommate told me that a guy in another graduate program thought that I was cute.  His name is also Robert (my life is funny like that).  Robert(2) is super attractive, confident, is an amazing public speaker, and is getting his PhD.  I was shocked to learn that he was attracted to me, but extremely flattered none the less.  I kind of forgot about it.

Back to the party – Robert(2) and I started talking.  My roommate, Robin, was extremely drunk and kept making things awkward between Robert(2) and I – you know, the forced “Oh hey, have you talked to Liz?”  I was totally embarrassed by her antics, but also super thankful because Robert(2) appeared to be really nervous to talk to me.

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thanks, girl!

Anywayz, the night progressed and I ended up not-so-subtlety inviting Robert(2) to my room. We kissed and I was in heaven. Unfortunately, he had to leave to go to a friend’s bachelor party, and asked me for my number, promising to hang out soon. 

My ex-girlfriend, Scarlett, (not crazy Evelyn) was also present with her current flame. Her and I dated 4 years ago and maintain a close friendship.  But, it’s not strictly platonic – there’s definitely a lot of sexual tension between us.  We ended up kissing for approximately 2 seconds while the girl she is seeing was moving her car.  Whoopsssss

All in all, the night was a success.  Kissed two people, have a lot of fun, ate a lot of good food.  What more could a girl ask for?

Is Honesty Really the Best Policy?

Things have been pretty great with Robert & I.  However, we recently had a conversation where I kind of… lied. A lot.

pinocchio

Ok, so here’s what happened.  Robert was very intoxicated and I was sober.  He told me that I could ask him anything & he would answer honestly.  I love a challenge, so I bet him I could ask him something that he wouldn’t want to answer.  So what did I ask him?

“So— how many people have you slept with?”

gasp!

gasp!

Too much, too soon??  For the record, HE challenged ME.  Plus, this was obviously the perfect opportunity to ask this question without overstepping my boundaries (plus, I got to take advantage of the fact that he was waaaasted).

He nervously laughed a little and told me his number.  I was surprised to learn that his is  less than mine.  Approximately 7 people less than mine.  Now, I’m not proud of my number, but I’m not exactly ashamed of it either.  However, I am fully aware of the fragile male ego and how this information could make him feel.

So I decided to lie.  I told him that my number was one more than his.  I thought that this was a fair compromise since in reality, it was way more.

So the conversation keep going & he started asking me more graphic sex questions.

And I kept on lying.

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mmhm.

Was I in the wrong here?  I know people lie about this thing all the time, but I still can’t help but feel a little guilty.  Especially because I really think that he was telling the truth the whole time.  If he ever found out, it would hurt him a lot & would damage his trust in me (obviously).  However, if I had answered these questions honestly, I think he would have been extremely turned off and definitely would have changed his opinion of me.  In fact, he told me that the thought of being with a girl with more partners than him used to really turn him off.  He’s since changed his opinion a little bit, but I definitely think my number being way more than his would be bad news.

Lose. Lose.

Any thoughts here?