Category Archives: Liz Stuff

My Whirlwind with Spicoli

I went to college. I drank a lot. And it got me into trouble.  Everyone loves the fun, sloppy drunk girl when you’re a college senior, but 3 years postgrad, it’s not so cute anymore.

This is why I pretty much stopped “going out to go out”. I still drink, but the goal and locations have changed.  Aka: it’s pretty rare now a days that I go out to get wasted and go to seedy college bars or clubs.  I’m more likely to go to cheap dive bars or just casually drink at friends’ apartments.

Image

Moral of the story – I don’t go out drinking a lot anymore because I don’t trust myself not to do stupid things.  I also don’t enjoy clubs the way I used to. Well, guess what happened the one time I went out this summer??

I got sloppy drunk and had sex with a guy I met twice.  Typically, I would wake up hating myself, but you know what?

chandler

Here’s what happened: On a Tuesday night, I went out to dinner with my friend, Anne Marie, and her parents. Anne Marie has been one of my best friends since I was little, but we’ve drifted apart a little bit. She likes to party at the “cool bars” (aka ones flooded by losers we went to high school with and cost a ton of money), and I’m not into that scene anymore. Anyways, our server at this restaurant was one of her friends that she goes out with a lot.  I thought he was pretty cute. Not in a typically attractive way, but in a sexy-unemployed-haven’t-showered-grungy kind of way.  We will refer to him as Spicoli.

Image

At the end of dinner, he sat down and had a glass of wine with us.  We started talking and Spicoli and Anne Marie started telling me about a party the next day. Anne Marie, always the wingwoman (especially after 4 glasses of wine), said “Spicoli, take her number, maybe you can convince her to come out because I never can.”  So I did.

He texted me to come out to the party, but I didn’t go because I really didn’t want to I was super busy.  Then he asked me to get a drink the next Friday. Afterwards, Anne Marie was having people over for dinner and was going to go out.  So that was our plan.

I had a great time with him on our date.  He has very interesting qualities about him. I found conversation with him to flow easily, and he’s definitely one of the most open-minded guys I’ve ever met in my life.  He was so open with his emotions, which I found to be so attractive. He doesn’t have a degree or a steady job, but has traveled the world.  And his hair is about as long as mine. Basically, I’ve never really dated anyone like him. I typically go for “safe” guys – for example, the boyfriend I had senior year of college was athletic, handsome, came from the perfect family, went to grad school, and is the smartest person I’ve ever known (triple major, got a perfect score on his math GRE).  His “perfectness” freaked me out – and I ended up cheating on him with a guy who had a long-term girlfriend (and also had long hair now that I think about it.

Things just felt different with him. I told him up front about my relationship with Evelyn, which is something I don’t tell guys until we’ve been dating for a couple of months.  Spicoli didn’t blink an eye.  Open-mindedness is such a turn on for me.

Fast forward to the end of the night – we’re making out, at a club, between shots of fireball. I go back with him to his apartment, and have amazing sex.

I felt like I could be myself with someone for the first time… ever. He didn’t judge me; he completely accepted me for who I was. I left a week later, but we went out a few more times, and the sex got better and better each time.

I really took away something valuable from the whole Spicoli experience: I need to stop going for the “safe” guys.  Maybe later on in my life, when I need more stability and consistency, will the safe guys be a better option for me.  For now, I need to stop getting sucked into relationships I’m not interested in just because there’s nothing wrong with the guy. I can’t get tied down, I have way too much craziness left in me! Right, B?

bey

Advertisements

Liz Goes Online

Against my better judgement, I decided to give online dating another shot.  I tried this a little over a year ago, and it did not turn out well for me.  I went on to meet women, and ended up chatting with this super cute, blonde doctor.  She was a little older than me and was super artsy.  I was SO into her.  She was sexy, smart, and creative. Swoon.

I thought that the feelings were mutual, and so I slept with her after only a few dates.  After that, I ended up going home for a month over winter vacation and we didn’t keep in touch.  Not really sure what happened, but whatever.  I chalked it up to her being too busy saving lives.

So, this was my only experience with online dating— until now!

This time, I decided to go on to meet men.  This experience has been way different.  Men are way creepier.

Here are some highlights from my 1 week online—-

liz2

.... this was the FIRST MESSAGE THIS GUY SENT ME. CREEP.

…. this was the FIRST MESSAGE THIS GUY SENT ME. CREEP.

No, thanks.

No, thanks.  

(Also worth mentioning that on his profile, under the “what I’m doing with my life section” this guy wrote “recovering heroin and painkiller addict”)

And my personal favorite—–

....???

???

Ok, so maybe this will end up being another failure.  I’ve been chatting with two cute guys that seem normal– let’s see how long this lasts!

Liz

 

 

The Aftermath

Hi everyone,

Last time I posted, I told you all that Robert(1) read my text messages without me knowing. I had also started dating another guy behind his back & was pretty confused about what I wanted.

When Robert(1) told me that he read my texts, I was in shock.  My mind was spinning and I was desperately trying to remember what I had said in my texts.  Not surprisingly, I severely underestimated what he read.

I admitted to going on a date with another guy, saying that I had been friends with him for a while and we just went out to dinner. I stressed that it wasn’t a big deal, and we had only kissed. He asked me some more questions about Robert(2), and I answered honestly.

To my surprise, Robert(1) wasn’t satisfied with this information.  He then something else that shocked me-

“What about your texts to Maverick?”

Image

??!!??!!??!!

(Read about my relationship with my ex, Maverick, here and here).

I couldn’t believe that he was actually talking about my texts to Maverick! I instantly remembered that I had texted him saying that I missed him, as well as saying how cute he looked in a snapchat that he sent me. I. Was. Mortified.

But my nightmare didn’t stop there!! Robert(1) informed me that he saw a graphic text that I sent my best friend, Chrysanthemum.  While Robert(2) and I were making out one night, I had done some over the clothes exploring with my hands.  Three words: It Was Huge. Naturally, I texted Chrysanthemum telling her about this and used emojis in a very tasteful way—

eggplant

 

Our conversation was horribly awkward and I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.  The most shocking thing that was said was by Robert.  He told me that he was going to get over what happened and hoped that we could move on from this.  I think that most guys would be totally done with a girl that pulled shit like this & I couldn’t believe how well Rob handled it all.  Why is he still into me? If the situation was reversed, I wouldn’t have admitted to snooping would have dumped him in a heartbeat.

One issue with this situation is the fact that Robert was snooping.  First of all, Rob is NOT by boyfriend and we never decided to not see other people.  Is he entitled to be this pissed off about what I was doing with Robert(2)?  I am conflicted and would love to hear opinions from others!

snooping

Until next time,
Liz

My date with Robert(2)

As I mentioned in my previous post, I kissed a guy I’ve had a crush on all year last weekend.  His name is also Robert, and we went out on a date last night.

I was so excited to go out on a date with Robert(2).  Being the super cool lady that I am, I watched make up tutorials on youtube all afternoon and got myself to look pretty good, if I do say so myself.

Image

outfit choice!

I have been on my fair share of dates, and I think I can officially say that this was the best one ever.  He showed up at my house with a single long stemmed yellow and red rose.  Swoon.  He also opened the car door for me throughout the night – kind of unnecessary, but I found it to be sweet.  The opening of the car doors and bringing me a flower on the first date were both firsts for me.

Image

isn’t it pretty? talk about brownie points

We drove about 45 minutes into the city and got sushi (my favorite).  Conversation flowed and I was having a great time.  We talked about everything: our childhoods, dreams for the future, favorite things, etc.

The night ended by going to an artsy bar where a jazz band was playing.  This was amazing.  I was digging the vibe and the fact that we were doing something new and different.  Robert(2) has a wonderful, outgoing personality and people gravitate towards him.   We chatted with the owners of the club, who instantly took a liking to him.

The night ended by taking a walk down to the lake by my house.  We looked at the stars and kissed.  It was truly amazing.  I AM STILL SMILING.

Image

This leads me to my dilemma: what about Robert(1)?  Honestly, since he’s been home for the past 4 days, I’ve been realizing all the things that I don’t like about him.  Robert(2) has a lot of qualities that I like in a person, which I realized Robert(1) doesn’t have.  These include: an interest and appreciation for the arts, being outgoing, & going out and doing things. For example, we live about 45 minutes from a small city. Robert(1) has NEVER EVEN BEEN THERE. This is unbelievable considering there isn’t anything remotely fun to do in the town we live in.

Being away from him has made me realize all the qualities that I don’t like in him. I’m going to see him in 3 days, so I guess I’ll need to make up my mind soon.  I can’t exactly have Robert(2) pick me up for a date when Robert(1) is living across the street….!

Image

…. or can I?

Is Honesty Really the Best Policy?

Things have been pretty great with Robert & I.  However, we recently had a conversation where I kind of… lied. A lot.

pinocchio

Ok, so here’s what happened.  Robert was very intoxicated and I was sober.  He told me that I could ask him anything & he would answer honestly.  I love a challenge, so I bet him I could ask him something that he wouldn’t want to answer.  So what did I ask him?

“So— how many people have you slept with?”

gasp!

gasp!

Too much, too soon??  For the record, HE challenged ME.  Plus, this was obviously the perfect opportunity to ask this question without overstepping my boundaries (plus, I got to take advantage of the fact that he was waaaasted).

He nervously laughed a little and told me his number.  I was surprised to learn that his is  less than mine.  Approximately 7 people less than mine.  Now, I’m not proud of my number, but I’m not exactly ashamed of it either.  However, I am fully aware of the fragile male ego and how this information could make him feel.

So I decided to lie.  I told him that my number was one more than his.  I thought that this was a fair compromise since in reality, it was way more.

So the conversation keep going & he started asking me more graphic sex questions.

And I kept on lying.

1

mmhm.

Was I in the wrong here?  I know people lie about this thing all the time, but I still can’t help but feel a little guilty.  Especially because I really think that he was telling the truth the whole time.  If he ever found out, it would hurt him a lot & would damage his trust in me (obviously).  However, if I had answered these questions honestly, I think he would have been extremely turned off and definitely would have changed his opinion of me.  In fact, he told me that the thought of being with a girl with more partners than him used to really turn him off.  He’s since changed his opinion a little bit, but I definitely think my number being way more than his would be bad news.

Lose. Lose.

Any thoughts here?

 

 

Maverick: Part I

Hello all!  I briefly touched upon my oh-so-crazy relationship with Maverick in my second post, so I thought it was time to talk about him a little more.

Maverick-Top-Gun

My “relationship” started with Maverick over 3 years ago.  We worked together as RA’s in a cockroach infested college dorm and started hanging out in the same circle of friends.  I turned 21 during this year, as did he and many of our friends… and we lived it up.  Like, we really took things too far.

Here we are, just hanging out.

Here we are, just hanging out.

I originally started hooking up with one of Maverick’s best friends, Thomas.  Why? Good question. I am not attracted to Thomas in the slightest, nor do we have ANYTHING in common.  However, he was slightly obsessed with me and I didn’t hate the ego boost.  I decided to end this after a short time and we went back to being friends.

Why, hello Thomas.

Fast forward to a night with said friend group. Me and my college roommate decided to play a game called “Finish the bottle of wine before you can stand up.” We split one of those huge ass bottles of wine and chugged it before standing up.  This was not a good idea.  I came very close to vomiting and was not feeling so hot.

wine

Maverick & I went back to the dorm that we both lived in, and as we were walking up the stairs, I suddenly knew that I wanted him.  Which was weird, because I had never thought of him that way up until this very moment.  (Ok, I know it’s not THAT weird considering the amount of wine I had consumed that night. Before standing up).

So, I started falling into the wall strategically stalling at the staircase that separated the floors we lived on.  He got the hint and asked me if I wanted to go to his room.  I obliged and went to his room.  It seemed so wrong considering that we worked together & I had just stopped dating one of his best friends.

Strange to think that this is where it all began…… so much & so little has changed about our relationship.

 

Until next time,
Liz

 

Dating Charades

Now it’s time to introduce you to the people in my dating life.  Hope you have a pen & pencil ready… things are about to get confusing pretty fast!

Maverick – oh, Maverick.  Where to begin with you.  Maverick & I worked together during college & had lots of mutual friends.  We started dating each other in secret and had a very tumultuous, on and off again “relationship.”  I experience the highest of highs AND the lowest of lows with him.  He plays games & drives me fucking crazy…. but I can’t quit him.  Maverick currently lives a zillion miles away because he’s in the military.  Part of the reason I created this blog is to sort out my feelings about him and our relationship.  Lots more about him later.

Robert – Robert is my next door neighbor and attends grad school at the same school as me.  We met during a huge snow storm, because he came over to help me shovel out my driveway (aww).  He is kind, sweet, and the sex is ah-may-zing.  We recently had the DTR (define the relationship) talk, where he expressed that he would have already asked me to be his girlfriend if I was not moving to the new city.

Evleyn – is my ex-girlfriend. This might be a good time to point out that I have had 2 girlfriends.  Anyways, Evelyn and I dated for 8 months and broke up about 4 months ago.  We had a decent relationship, but there were a lot of issues which I won’t bore you with here.  I decided to end the relationship, which she didn’t take too well.  It’s four months later and she’s still acting crazy.  Calling, texting, sending me a 3 month belated birthday present, SHOWING UP AT MY DOOR with a 4 page hand written note…. I kid you not.

I’ll stick with these three main players, as they’re the only people in my dating life right now.   They all are beautiful, kind people with lots of quirks & flaws.  They make my life complicated, lovely, & completely frustrating at times.

On that note… goodnight!

Liz