I went to college. I drank a lot. And it got me into trouble. Everyone loves the fun, sloppy drunk girl when you’re a college senior, but 3 years postgrad, it’s not so cute anymore.
This is why I pretty much stopped “going out to go out”. I still drink, but the goal and locations have changed. Aka: it’s pretty rare now a days that I go out to get wasted and go to seedy college bars or clubs. I’m more likely to go to cheap dive bars or just casually drink at friends’ apartments.
Moral of the story – I don’t go out drinking a lot anymore because I don’t trust myself not to do stupid things. I also don’t enjoy clubs the way I used to. Well, guess what happened the one time I went out this summer??
I got sloppy drunk and had sex with a guy I met twice. Typically, I would wake up hating myself, but you know what?
Here’s what happened: On a Tuesday night, I went out to dinner with my friend, Anne Marie, and her parents. Anne Marie has been one of my best friends since I was little, but we’ve drifted apart a little bit. She likes to party at the “cool bars” (aka ones flooded by losers we went to high school with and cost a ton of money), and I’m not into that scene anymore. Anyways, our server at this restaurant was one of her friends that she goes out with a lot. I thought he was pretty cute. Not in a typically attractive way, but in a sexy-unemployed-haven’t-showered-grungy kind of way. We will refer to him as Spicoli.
At the end of dinner, he sat down and had a glass of wine with us. We started talking and Spicoli and Anne Marie started telling me about a party the next day. Anne Marie, always the wingwoman (especially after 4 glasses of wine), said “Spicoli, take her number, maybe you can convince her to come out because I never can.” So I did.
He texted me to come out to the party, but I didn’t go because
I really didn’t want to I was super busy. Then he asked me to get a drink the next Friday. Afterwards, Anne Marie was having people over for dinner and was going to go out. So that was our plan.
I had a great time with him on our date. He has very interesting qualities about him. I found conversation with him to flow easily, and he’s definitely one of the most open-minded guys I’ve ever met in my life. He was so open with his emotions, which I found to be so attractive. He doesn’t have a degree or a steady job, but has traveled the world. And his hair is about as long as mine. Basically, I’ve never really dated anyone like him. I typically go for “safe” guys – for example, the boyfriend I had senior year of college was athletic, handsome, came from the perfect family, went to grad school, and is the smartest person I’ve ever known (triple major, got a perfect score on his math GRE). His “perfectness” freaked me out – and I ended up cheating on him with a guy who had a long-term girlfriend (and also had long hair now that I think about it.
Things just felt different with him. I told him up front about my relationship with Evelyn, which is something I don’t tell guys until we’ve been dating for a couple of months. Spicoli didn’t blink an eye. Open-mindedness is such a turn on for me.
Fast forward to the end of the night – we’re making out, at a club, between shots of fireball. I go back with him to his apartment, and have amazing sex.
I felt like I could be myself with someone for the first time… ever. He didn’t judge me; he completely accepted me for who I was. I left a week later, but we went out a few more times, and the sex got better and better each time.
I really took away something valuable from the whole Spicoli experience: I need to stop going for the “safe” guys. Maybe later on in my life, when I need more stability and consistency, will the safe guys be a better option for me. For now, I need to stop getting sucked into relationships I’m not interested in just because there’s nothing wrong with the guy. I can’t get tied down, I have way too much craziness left in me! Right, B?